we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
