just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
