ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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