Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
