i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
