Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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