Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
