when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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