I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
