I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
