I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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