I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
