I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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