She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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