so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
