i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am one with the molecules
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
