How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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