is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
