I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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