So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
