end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
