i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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