Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
