Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
