Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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