I think I died a long time ago.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
