My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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