the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
