matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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