Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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