at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
