Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
