Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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