I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
