Your face is a jimmy john
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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