I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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