I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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