Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
