He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
