belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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