tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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