if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
