hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
