There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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