Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
