So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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