forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
