yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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