I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
