So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
