all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Terrible idea I love it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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