How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was confusing and full of hummus
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
