I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
