No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
