i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
