Small penises have feelings too.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
