omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
