I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
