I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
