fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
