you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
