I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
