Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Randomize
