Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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