I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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