I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
