I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I fill condoms, not promises.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
