Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize