i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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