I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
