your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
