its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
