Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
