So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
