You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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